My Journey to Becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom

Is there anything more life-changing than the birth of your child? One day, I was focused on myself, my husband, and my career. After all, I was 25 years old and living what I thought was my best life. Then, our sweet baby boy made his grand entrance into the world, and my life was forever changed. Stay-at-home mom life was not something I had ever strongly considered.

Things I thought were important, like having extra money to paint the town, no longer held the same significance. 

I am a highly decisive person – put two things in front of me and I can decide instantly. Ask me to choose where to go for dinner and I’ll have a reservation in a snap. 

However, I toiled over the fate of my career for almost a year. When our baby was born, my gut said to quit my job & stay home, but my head said there were too many risks associated with leaving the workforce to become a stay-at-home mom.

As a teacher, I was blessed with the option to take a year-long (unpaid) maternity leave, which I jumped at as soon as our little guy was born. I was exhausted, but also so in love and couldn’t imagine leaving him. 

So, like any rational, type-A person, I broke out the yellow legal pad and made myself a pro/con list. 

Pros

• Spend more time with my son, be there for all the “firsts”, & watch him grow
• Flexibility in my schedule to allow me to continue volunteering and teaching at my church
• Feeling balanced – laundry put away, house cleaned, dishes done, etc during the day, freeing up our evenings as a family
• Save $$$ on daycare

Cons

• Less money as a one-income family
• Difficulty re-entering the workforce after being home for 7-10 years
• Potential financial instability if (God forbid) my husband dies
• Less adult interaction

I could continue to add points to each side all day, but my heart kept telling me to stay home. At the same time, I found myself trying to push myself to return to work. I was trying to rationalize why it was the right choice. 

However, each “con” that I listed seemed to have a counterpoint.

Yes, we would have less money as a one-income family. BUT we are frugal. aggressive savers, and are prepared to make sacrafices. 

Yes, it may be difficult to re-enter the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom for 7-10 years. BUT anything can happen in that amount of time, I can stay relevant by finding other ways to teach & learn, and I need to have faith in God’s plan for me.

Yes, things could be extra tricky financially if my husband dies. BUT we invested in a good life insurance policy for a reason. 

Yes, I may have less adult interactions. BUT it will force me to be more intentional in my friendships.

Final Question: Is One Income Enough?

We worked out all the “drawbacks” of me being a stay-at-home mom and felt it really came down to one question: can we live solely on my husband’s income?

First, we used our budgeting spreadsheet to determine our monthly/yearly expenses and how they stacked up compared to our income. We were a little too close for comfort, as we were used to saving a large portion of our money as a two-income household.

Next, we analyzed our expenses to determine where we could realistically trim costs without losing quality of life (i.e. we don’t want to never be able to buy new clothes or enjoy a date night). 

We went through our budget asking ourselves questions like:

• Do we really need cable, or can we subscribe to a few streaming companies? (Now we only pay for internet, Disney+ and Hulu. Plus we have access to Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hallmark Movies Now through our parents.)
• Does our son need all new clothing and toys, or can we also buy gently used baby items? (If I’ve learned anything as a parent, it’s that kids go through things so quickly, it’s not worth buying new. We loved used!)
• Does date night need to be something elaborate, or can we enjoy a free or low-cost activity, like a hike, scavenger hunt, or movie night? (We cut our “eating out” budget by over 50% by asking family members for restaurant gift cards as birthday and Christmas presents.)

>> My post on 10 Budget-Friendly Gift Experiences for Kids was inspired by my desire to tighten our budget.

Surprise! We did it!

It’s tight, but we worked out a delicate balance in our budget where we can afford to pay our bills and also live our lives. However, it’s not without sacrifice. We won’t be going to concerts like we used to and definitely won’t be taking any elaborate vacations. 

Despite the sacrafices, or things we’ll “miss out on”, it is so worth it to be able to spend every day with our little guy.

I have so much respect for moms and dads who both work, no matter the reason. I have seen the juggling act these families do every day – trying to balance family time, school work, extracurricular activities, friends, jobs, etc. It is a neverending list, and I COMMEND you for trying to do it all – whether you feel like you’re drowning or feel like you’re crushing it. 

We all make decisions in the best interest of our family, and in our case that meant me staying home.

Life as a Stay-At-Home Mom

Last week, I resigned from my teaching position and packed up my classroom. As happy as I am to be home permanently, I was sad to pack up that phase of my life. My dream job since first grade was to be a teacher. I worked tirelessly to get there, and I landed a teaching contract in a wonderful school district. 

It wasn’t easy to say “goodbye”, but it was a little easier since it meant saying “hello” to my new dream job. Not one person has said, “I stayed home with my kids when they were young, but I wish I hadn’t.” Check back in with me in 7-10 years, but I hope you hear this was the best decision of my life!

I would love to hear your personal experience deciding to continue to work or to stay home with your kids. We all have blessings and challenges, no matter our career!

About the Author